


The Prince of Partridge

by c00kie



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fantasy, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 12:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4746317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c00kie/pseuds/c00kie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leslie goes on a blind date with someone who turns out to be very familiar, and everyone learns an important lesson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Prince of Partridge

“So, what do you do?” Leslie asks her date as he inspects the silverware. He’s cute, slight in frame but tousle haired with a strong jaw. 

“I’m the Prince of Partridge.” 

“You’re a prince.”

“Yes.”

Well, Leslie supposes she’s been told weirder things by her dates. And Ben is rather cute. And at least he’s her age, unlike the last guy her mom set her up with. “Right.”

The waiter comes and she orders another glass of wine, knowing she’s going to need it. She waits for the wine to show up, drinking half the glass before she feels buzzed enough to continue the conversation.

“What’s the name of your kingdom again?”

“Partridge,” Ben answers, “but it was cursed by an evil witch who froze it.”

“And how much of that was your fault?”

“All of it.”

Well he’s honest, she has to give him that much. And she does admire him for admitting his faults. It’s not as if her last boyfriend did that.

“So now you’re…”

“Wandering around, looking for a way to break the spell,” Ben finishes just as their food arrives. “This looks a lot better than the food Chris makes me eat.”

“Is Chris your animal sidekick?”

“No. Chris is my health conscious man servant.”

“And he’s human?”

“Yes.”

She’ll believe that when she sees it.

The dinner continues, and she has to admit, there is something rather charming about Ben, even if she’s ninety five percent sure he’s out of his mind. But as long as he does’t start serenading her, she can enjoy her dinner, let him down gently and then go home and call Ann to complain of yet another in a string of bad first dates.

It’s a shame too, he has such a wonderful smile.

“Tell me about yourself, Ms. Knope.”

“You can call me Leslie,” she says, reaching for her wine. “I am the deputy director of the parks department.”

“You make parks?”

“Well I make sure they run correctly, yeah. But it’s actually my dream to make one. I’m trying to do it right now. There’s this pit, well it’s a lot now, but I’m hoping to one day turn it into a park.”

“Show me.”

“Show you?”

“Yes. I want to see it.”

There’s a voice that says no, he wants to murder you, but Ben is rather slight for a prince and she knows enough karate to defend herself. “Fine. I’m paying for my half by the way.”

“Alright?”

“You have money, right?”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Yes. I have a MasterCard.”

“Awesome product placement,” Leslie says under her breath.

When the bill is paid, they go outside and Leslie knows better than to be upset at the horse drawn carriage, and yet.

“I think maybe we should take separate cars. You can follow me.”

He gives her a small smile and nods. “Very well.” he walks to his carriage and a man helps him up.

And oh no, his butt is cute.

So pluses: cute face, cute butt. cons: believes he’s a prince from a cursed kingdom.

On the way to the lot, Leslie calls Ann, who picks up after two rings.

“Okay, how’s it going?”

“Great,” Leslie says. “He’s a complete loon. But he’s cute.”

“Oh no. What did he do?”

“Nothing. He just thinks he’s a prince.”

“Oh my god. Is he? Like some small principality in Europe? I saw a Hallmark movie that was about that-“

"His kingdom was cursed and is now completely frozen.”

“Oh,” Ann’s voice falls. “I’m sorry. Do you want to come over for hot chocolate?”

“Soon,” Leslie says, “First I promised I would show him the lot.”

“Leslie!”

“What? He wants to see it and he’s cute.”

“You just said he’s crazy.”

“Yeah, but his butt is small and flat and oh do you think he’s trying to bewitch me with his butt to do his bidding?”

“I have no idea,” Ann says, “but I’m going to come out. Think of me as your own personal knight in shining scrubs.”

“Oh Ann.”

Ann is there when Leslie and Ben arrive, her arms crossed, chin down, eyes narrowed at Ben and his carriage.

“Hello, I’m Prince Benjamin.”

“I’m Ann. I’ve come to make sure you don’t hurt Leslie.”

Ben laughs. “Leslie is beautiful. Anyone who hurt her would only feel my wrath.”

“With what?” Ann asks, “Your army of talking squirrels?”

Leslie giggles at the thought of squirrels holding tiny spears and shields.

“My army turned on me, after the curse. Well the ones that were not frozen.”

“Of course,” Leslie says, giving Ann a silent head nod to say ‘just go with it.’ But Ann’s distracted though by something behind her. So, she turns around and sees a rather attractive man beside the carriage, whispering to the horses.

“Now that guy I could believe is a prince.”

“That is Chris, my manservant.”

“Ah,” Ann says, pulling Leslie aside. “Okay I’m going to go to talk to him, find out what the deal is.”

“Right, good idea,” Leslie agrees. Ann squeezes her hand and walks over to Chris, leaving Leslie alone with Ben, who’s staring out at the lot. She joins him, waiting for him to say something. Realizing he’s waiting for her, she says, “You have to picture it with more trees and benches.” 

“I see.”

“And a playground for kids.”

Ben turns to her, his face unreadable in the darkness. “You want to be Queen someday.”

“President, but yeah.”

“I think you will make a wonderful Queen.” 

“Presid-” Her correction is cut off though, by his hand cupping her chin and his lips pressing against hers in a slow kiss that tastes like cherries and chocolate. 

“Leslie!”

Leslie pulls away from Ben, her heart pumping wildly as she scrambles to leave. “I’ll be right back,” she says, pointing over to where Ann is waiting for her. She nearly trips but catches herself before she falls. 

“Okay,” Leslie says when she reaches Ann, who’s standing near the edge of the lot, closer to her house. “What’s the deal? Psychotic break?”

“If it is, they’re both suffering from it,” Ann says. “Chris absolutely believes Ben is a cursed prince.”

“Great. That’s…great.” She runs her hand over her face. 

Ann laughs. “Oh my god. You like him!”

“He’s adorable!” Leslie yells, throwing her hands in the air. “Of course I like him!”

Ann shakes her head, still smiling as she puts her hands on Leslie’s shoulders, calming her down. “Deep breath.”

Leslie inhales, counts to five and exhales. “Okay.”

“Good. Now, go over there, tell him you had a nice night but it’s over.”

Leslie knows Ann’s right, and that’s exactly what she should do, but her lips are still tingling from the kiss and there’s something about Ben as he walks around, probably picturing the lot as a real park that makes her stop and turn around to go to Chris. 

“Tell me the story.”

“Leslie!” Ann says, running over and grabbing Leslie’s arm. “No-”

Leslie ignores her though. “The story, please.”

“Once upon a time,” Chris begins-

There was a young prince who lived in a small kingdom. He was actually the middle child, and was not to be king, but his older brother, Henry, had no interest in politics. Ben though, loved puzzles and games, and believed politics to be a great game. So when it came time to choose a successor, King Stephen went against tradition and chose his youngest son instead. 

Ben was then taught everything he needed to know about being a king. He was taught how to speak, how to interact with the public, how to make the hard decisions. 

But he was not taught how to say no to beautiful girls. 

Lady Cindy was considered to be the most beautiful girl in the kingdom, and Ben, despite his status, became rather besotted every time he saw her. 

But beneath all of Cindy’s beauty there was an ugly truth. Cindy was not a mere lady, but rather the daughter of an evil witch Ben’s parents had banished. 

So, Cindy seduced Ben, charming him into his bed and into her heart. 

She waited though, until two months after his coronation to fulfill her plan. Slowly, the crops began to wither, and no matter what the calendar said, the weather never warmed. 

Ben was blamed, and the peasants revolted. 

All through the night, Partridge began to freeze. People and animals were stuck in place, like frozen statues Trees fell over from the weight of the ice. 

Ben tried to find a cure, begged Cindy, who had already confessed to her misdeeds, but she refused. She was put into the dungeons, but it s to no avail. She refused to undo the spell.

And then his army turned on him. As did his parents. 

He was cast out, banished forever, his loyal manservant at his side. 

“Oh my god,” Leslie says when the story ends. 

“Is that how it ends?” Ann asks, “He’s banished, the end? Where’s the happy ending?”

“The story ends there. We have been cast out for literally eighteen years.”

“Ann, a word please,” Leslie says, ignoring Chris’ confusion as she pulls Ann aside. 

“I’m just saying, for a fairy tale that story is really lacking-”

“I need you to watch them for me.”

“What? No.”

“Please? I think I know what’s going on but I need to make sure. Just watch them. Please?” 

“Ugh. Fine.” 

Leslie quickly tells Ben she will be back, instructing him to go with Ann to her house. 

It doesn’t take Leslie very long to find the box of school work from her childhood. “And Ann says my keeping things is bad,’ she says to no one as she pulls old homework and tests out of the box. 

What she’s looking for is on the bottom. Written on yellow paper, in her twelve year old handwriting, are Chris’ exact words. It’s on two pages of paper, but the bottom of the second page is torn off, a red stain at the edge.

She remembers everything. 

She runs out of her house and hurries back to Ann’s. 

Ann looks rather annoyed when Leslie comes back. “That one,” she points to Chris, “keeps trying to rearrange my furniture. And yours-” Ann gestures to Ben-”Just keeps asking where you are. I’m afraid he will burst into song about you and Leslie, you are my best friend and I love you, but I draw the line at musical interludes about your hair.”

“I don’t sing,” Ben says, and both Leslie and Ann sigh with relief. 

“I do!” Chris chimes in, but it is Ben who holds a hand up, silencing his sidekick. 

“Please, don’t.”

Leslie finds herself smiling at Ben, who smiles back. It makes her forget what she was doing, until Ann coughs and says, 

“So, what did you find?” 

“Oh! Right. I found this.” She gives Ann the story who glances over it. At first her expression is wary and pensive, but soon curiosity takes hold. 

“Leslie, this is-”

“Yes.”

“So that means-”

“Yes.”

“Excuse me,” Ben says, apparently done with his hot chocolate. “But what does this mean?”

“Um,” Leslie’s not really sure how to tell the prince that he exists because she wrote him. 

“Well you see, I kind of-”

“Leslie wrote you.”

“I’m sorry?” 

“Leslie wrote you,” Ann repeats, shoving the story into Ben’s hands. He reads it, but Leslie can’t watch. She instead focuses on the floor. There’s a scratch in the wood. 

Leslie imagines Andy probably had something to do with it. 

When Ben is done, he wordlessly hands the story to Chris. “I believe I would like another hot cocoa.”

“I’ll make it,” Leslie says, needing something to do. She goes into the kitchen, followed by Ann. “You got to admit, he’s taking being a figment of an twelve year old’s imagination rather well.

“Okay, let’s think about this,” she says, handing Leslie the cocoa from the cabinet. “Let’s say Ben and Chris are the same Ben and Chris from your story and this isn’t some kind of prank-”

“I don’t think it is,” Leslie says as she stirs. 

“You think it’s real?”

“I..yeah? And I think I might know why?”

Ann takes a deep breath. “Okay,” she says when she exhales, “tell me what you did.”

Leslie stops stirring and Ann takes the pot off the burner turning it off. “The other night, I was watching this eighties music video retrospective and they showed “Take on Me” and I may have said, oh I wish that would happen.”

Ann just stares at her, incredulous.

“I didn’t think it would bring him to life!”

Ann slaps Leslie’s shoulder. “I can’t believe you wished on “Take on Me!” That’s the magic video. Everyone knows you’re not supposed to wish on it!”

“Well, I didn’t!”

Ann shakes her head. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well how did the story end?” 

“I’m curious to know as well,” Ben says, making Leslie jump. She turns around to see him standing in the door way. Her eyes drift to his lips, and for a moment, all she can think was how kissing him felt. 

“Leslie?”

“You um, came to Pawnee where you met a pretty girl who would some day President and you decided being first gentleman was a more worthy pursuit.”

“I see. And what of my kingdom?”

Leslie shakes her head, having never actually written that bit of the story. 

“I see.” 

“Is he crying?” Ann asks, pointing to Chris who is sitting on Ann’s couch, sobbing. 

Ben breaks his eye contact with Leslie to look. “Yes. Do you have any chia seeds and figs?”

“No.”

“I’m sorry,” Leslie says, not for the lack of figs, but for not giving Ben or Partridge a better ending. He looks at her for a moment and it makes her stomach burn, until his eyes fall away and he sighs. 

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not as if it or I are real.”

“I don’t know,” Leslie says, “I mean you seem pretty real to me.”

“I feel real,” Ben replies, “Or I did. To be honest, all of this is giving me a headache.”

Leslie studies Ben for a moment, wishing she could help him, but then she looks over at Ann while she tries to comfort Chris. Her eyes dart to the story on the coffee table. “I have an idea. Ann do you have any paper?”

“Top drawer on the left.”

Leslie finds a sheet of paper and a pencil and takes them to Ann’s table. Ben follows her, sitting down, watching her. She doesn’t write though, another thought occurring to her. 

“You know it wasn’t your fault right?”

“I believed-”

“You were eighteen and you thought a girl was interested in you. So okay, she turned out to be a witch. It happens to everyone. So I’m going to this, and hopefully it will work, but honestly I think the original ending was better.”

Ben says nothing. Leslie narrates as she writes. “After wandering the world with his handsome aid-”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Chris,” Leslie says, before continuing, “solving problems in other kingdoms, they eventually reached Pawnee, where the prince…” She look up at Ben, waiting. “This is the part where you tell me what to write.”

“It’s your story.”

“It’s your life.”

Ann jumps up from the couch and comes over, grabbing Leslie’s arm, pulling her up. “I need to speak to you in private.”

They go into Ann’s room, closing the door behind them. “What are you doing?”

Leslie sits on Ann’s bed. “What?” 

“You want him to stay!”

“Maybe?” Leslie sighs when Ann just crosses her arms. “Fine, I do. I want him to stay. He’s nice and funny and his butt is awesome. And I’m tired of dating duds. Remember that last guy I went out with?”

“Yeah,” Ann says, sitting down next to her. “And I guess his friend is kind of hot too. Okay, really hot. But you know, as a nurse, I should have all of us evaluated for some kind of poison.” 

Leslie throws her arms around Ann. “Thank you.”

“I haven’t given my approval-”

Leslie leaps up, no longer listening. She goes back to Ben, who’s still in his chair. He looks rather annoyed, and it gives her pause for a second, but she’s the author damn it, and this is her story. 

“I want you to stay. I can write a better ending for Partridge, and I can even make you a hero to them, but I like you and I want you to stay here. With me.”

“I’m a prince, Leslie,” Ben says, slowly standing to his feet. “A king, actually. I need to go back to Partridge. I need to make things right with them.”

“Right.” Leslie pushes down the disappointment and sits back down, picking up the pencil. 

“You could come with me.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Leslie says. “My home is Pawnee. And someday, Washington D.C.”

She’s silent while she writes the new ending of Ben’s story. She has no way of knowing if it works, but once she’s done nothing changes. “I wrote you go back to find it thawed. They still have their memories, sorry you’re just going to have to deal with that.” She doesn't tell him she wrote that he’s immune to Cindy now that he kissed Leslie, as that’s mostly for her benefit. 

She kind of feels bad for Cindy too, as shes been stuck in the castle’s prison for all these years. So she has Ben forgive her, and allow her to stay on his payroll as castle witch. 

Leslie and Ann walk Ben and Chris out to their carriage. While Chris makes sure everything is in order, Ben takes Leslie’s hand and pulls her away. 

“I owe you my thanks.”

“It’s nothing,” Leslie says, “I mean, as long as we all learned a lesson.” 

“And what lesson is that?” Ben asks, caressing her palm with his thumb. 

“To never wish on videos made by Norwegian new wave bands.”

“I really don’t think it’s that.” 

“Just kiss me goodbye,” Leslie says. Ben does as she requests. She can no longer taste cherries, but instead there’s the hint of marshmallow. 

It also makes her regret letting him go. 

“Goodbye, Leslie Knope.” 

“Bye.” 

Ann holds her arm as they watch the carriage fade into the distance. “You want to go finish that hot cocoa?”

“Yeah,” Leslie says, once she’s sure Ben is gone. “Let’s go.” 

Months go by. She focuses on her job and her friends, declaring herself done with dating. Ann accuses her multiple times of waiting for Ben to come back, and maybe it’s true. 

She knows how crazy it is, having fallen for a man on the first date (never mind the whole fictional part), but no one before or after has kissed her like Ben did. 

And she never wrote that he was good kisser. That was all him. 

But Ann’s right. She has to move on. 

And so she does. She puts her job first, but she doesn’t turn down men when they ask for her number. 

She even goes out with one of them for a while. 

Unfortunately, it’s hard to go back to kissing frogs when you’ve been kissed by an actual prince. 

\- 

She’s home alone. League of Their Own is on basic cable and her fingers are sticky from glue while she scrapbooks when her doorbell rings. 

“Coming,” she says, unable to get the glossy R to come off her thumb while she goes to the door. This teaches her to buy a different brand of glue. 

A woman is standing on her porch. She’s attractive, not Ann Perkins beautiful, but still pretty. “Are you Leslie Knope?”

“Um, yeah?”

The woman embraces Leslie. Leslie hugs her back, even though she doesn’t know who she is. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Leslie says. “Who are you?”

“Oh, Ben said you might not recognize me. I’m Cindy. the witch.”

“Oh!” Leslie really didn’t expect her witch to wear pink Adidas. “Do you want to come in?” 

“Thank you,” Cindy says, stepping into Leslie’s house.

“Um, do you want something to drink?”

“Ben spoke very highly of your hot cocoa.”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Leslie says. “Wait, you’re not really here to act out your revenge are you?”

“Of course not,”Cindy answers, and Leslie believes her, so she smiles and goes into her kitchen to make the hot cocoa. 

Cindy follows her. “He was right about you.”

“He was? About what?”

“About your generosity. Partridge hasn’t been very forgiving.”

“Well, you did freeze them.”

“I know. You know, Ben hired me to be his witch, which was very nice.”

“Do you like marshmallows?”

“I don’t know.”

“We’ll say yes,” Leslie decides, adding them to Cindy’s cup before she gives it to her. She leaves off the whipped cream, as she is a witch and she did ruin Ben’s life and also, Leslie just really don’t want to give her any. “It’s hot so be careful.”

“Thank you.”

“So you were saying Ben was nice and gave you a job?”

“Yes. But I’ve been a prisoner of that castle for over eighteen years. I need a change of scenery, you know? She takes a sip and sighs. “Oh, that’s wonderful.”

“You’re welcome,” Leslie says. “So you were saying you want a change of scenery.”

“Yes. Except, I don’t really know what I want to do. I’m not really qualified to do anything other than cast spells and charm men into doing my bidding.”

Leslie lets out a breath, unable to believe what she’s about to say. “Have you ever considered becoming a librarian?”

-

Because Cindy wants to live somewhere warm and Leslie’s not too keen on her living in Pawnee, she begs Tammy two to pull a few strings and get her a job at the Pasadena library as an assistant. 

Leslie feels rather dirty, but if it makes Cindy happy, she can’t complain too much. 

-

Leslie’s at work when Ben and Chris show up. Chris is, as always, all smiles and full names as he introduces himself and Ben. Leslie notices the absence of Ben’s title, but doesn’t remark on it as Ron rolls his eyes and goes back to his office, locking his door. Chris just excuses himself to go for a run.

Leslie just crosses her arms and taps her foot. It’s one thing for Ben and Chris to exist, fine, but to be gone for nearly a nearly and then show up at her place of work, well that is going too far. “So, do I need to bow or-”

“You do not bow,” Ben says, “for you are my equal.”

“Also, women do not bow. You curtsy,” Andy says, smiling proudly. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“May we speak in private?” Ben asks. 

Leslie considers taking him into the conference room, but she knows the glass isn’t soundproof. So she takes Ben home, making pancakes when he says he’s hungry. 

“So,” Leslie starts when his plate is empty.

“I’m no longer the King.”

"Again?” Leslie sighs as she puts their plates in the dishwasher.. “You know there are only so many times I can write an ending before you just have to accept it and move on. Did they run you out with pitchforks and torches?”

“No. I abdicated. I told you I went there to help fix things. I turned Partridge into a fully functional democratic nation. I even helped write the constitution.”

Having far too many feelings of respect and love and just plain arousal, Leslie grabs Ben by his tie and kisses him as hard as she can.

“You came back.”

“I missed you,” Ben says, holding Leslie’s hands in his. “You were right. The original ending was better.”

“Told you so.”

It’s the last thing she says for awhile.


End file.
